Mi El Corazon (my heart)

A teardrop from the sky.

A leaf falling from a tree.

Winter has passed and still I long for thee.

Long summer nights cold winter days.

 As dormant as our love here my heart lays

 

Like a caterpillar to a leaf fresh and new.

You made me feel stars and moons for you.

I love you, I love you not.

Petals at my feet drying at the spot.

Cast thine eyes down upon me.

Break off these shackles so I may be free.

Wisdom, knowledge, valor and love.

Mi Amor, mi Amor, you’ve come from above.

Walking backwards across the stairwell

becoming helplessly insane.

Tears clogging my throat as I utter a final farewell

looking down in your eyes knowing I’ll miss you.

 Grabbing you against me taking your lips.

Oh darling! Make me immortal with this kiss.

Over-riding passion sinking in lust.

Nowhere to go so in you I trust.

 

Like lights in a mist vague and far.

I long for your closeness, your laughter, and your tears.

With you I overcame all my fears.

With thine eyes upon my heart.

 I know we shan’t grow apart.

 

You were wrong you were mistaken.

A part of me will always be taken.

Whispers of hate, whispers of pain.

 All my love I have given in vain.

 

Every time I look in the mirror I reminisce.

About the love we shared the total look of bliss.

You warmed me like fire, chilled me like ice.

 You know you’re my desire my only vice.

 

But, now I have found your deepest regret.

That loving me was only a game.

Behind my back you play and jest, this is shan’t forget.

I’ve always known it would end up this way.

I knew you were someone I could never tame.

 

I saw you in the park with your lover today.

I trusted you!

I’d given you my soul.

Keeping secrets lying to my face

Don’t you think that’s enough without bringing more disgrace?

 

As fickle as words.

As sharp as a blade.

Your teary eyed blubberness suits your façade.

Her hands all over your body her mouth in your hair.

I stand and watch as her hand moves up your back

without a care.

Pressed to another no space between.

Panting and groping hurting my flesh.

 

Hiding behind a tree so I won’t be seen.

Your body is mine I shall have it till death.

Blood red with rage, hot white with fury.

Killing you both will be my duty.

 

Too tired of this hurt.

Too tired of this pain.

The pieces of Mi El Corazon I cannot contain.

Cry “Love”

Finally I have given up all hope of love

One can never be satisfied with loneliness

but, if love doesn’t show its face

while you sit, wait, believe

what else is there but fickle thoughts?

 

I ask love ‘Where are you?’

How can you stand by nonchalantly

watching my tears break down my face?

I cannot feel sorrow but, a new found feeling of being bereft.

My being is empty, do you know what you’ve done to me love?

You’ve made me hate you.

The one emotion I’m supposed to cherish and worship.

 

I’ve never had someone love me like Leopold loved his Kate.

With boundless honesty, passion, and trust.

I have lost my will to believe for you have walked away from me love.

 

I have never felt as I am feeling today.

Lost, lost within myself so deep that even the darkness cannot find me.

Bound to this endless fall I ask for no help but to be left alone.

I stand alone in this hotbed of iced emotions.

I will never understand the ways of love

forever I shall be hidden from its glare.

LEAVING

I can see you walking out.

How did I lose you?

I can’t let go of you, of us.

How can you give up on something we’ve been working so hard to keep together?

I can’t breathe without you.

You’ll leave me falling hard with an open heart.

 

I’ve tried to convince you to stay.

There is nothing more I can do but pray.

You’ve left me unguarded alone in the dark.

I can’t trust my legs I’m not used to walking on my own.

You’ve always been there one step ahead.

Holding my hand, kissing me ever so softy.

Your arms holding me so tightly.

Now I’ll be without.

Without your warmth

those eyes.

Without your sexy smile.

It would’ve been fine if only for a while.

But forever you’ll be gone.

Ripped from my life.

 

I know you’re somewhere out there.

With roses in your hand.

Giving them to someone you think you understand.

 

I miss you dammit.

Can’t you see?

That this pain I’m feeling is because of you leaving me.

I should’ve known

I fell for the wrong guy.

I fell for his deep set eyes.

Of the softest deepest brown.

Maybe I was blind.

He made me laugh so often.

Yet made me sad even more.

At first I think I loved him

which could be passed for lust

but being in love with him was an emotion I couldn’t trust.

 

So tall he was I had to remove the stars from my eyes.

Had to tell myself what I was feeling was all lies.

He was in love with someone else.

Someone he never would get over.

How could I have let my heart lead my mind?

He wasn’t the one I had to find.

Yet, I fell

so hard that I broke.

 

He hurt me so deeply without even knowing.

I was naïve to trust my feelings.

When I know the world is cruel.

But, I couldn’t help falling for you.

 

Smiling, that’s the one thing I can remember.

Always I was smiling when you were around

and in my heart is where the sparkle could always be found.

I will never forget the first of November.

The day you slid so fast

into the arms of the girl from the past.

 

I was stupid and immature.

To think I could have you as my own.

Damn, I should’ve known.

Dead Love

Despised, hated, and degraded.

This is what I feel when I am with you.

All my life I’ve tried to live up to your expectations.

Yet all I got are slaps in the face.

I try to be a perfect daughter.

One a father can dote on.

Can I help that I’m different from the rest?

Can I help that I failed my father’s test?

 

I have your eyes.

I have your face.

I have your manners.

Your moods, your nose.

I even have your fucking toes.

 

You make me feel bereft, unwanted and alone

the place where my heart used to be has

become such a hard stone.

Why?

Why is it that I’m not what you want?

I’m not your daughter of that you’ve left no doubt.

The love you’ve shown was always a front.

 

All I’ve ever wanted was you love.

To feel that immense joy when you come home.

Running across the lawn just to jump into your waiting arms.

Is that too much to ask of you?

I’ve found that towards me

you’ve never been true.

 

I’m disrespectful, a disgrace.

A monster so out of place.

I tire of pleasing one who won’t be pleased.

My face hurts for all the times I’ve cried.

So tired of all the countless times I’ve tried

to be what you want me to be.

Do what you want me to do.

 

Muerto Amor, dead love.

That my father is all you’ve ever had for me.

A love only you could see.

unknown to me

I’ve loved you even when you were unknown to me.

I trusted my heart to show me the way.

To give me words that would convince you to stay.

For I knew you’d be shocked and wouldn’t believe

when I professed my love down on my knees.

It’s crazy and unreal to feel the way I feel.

I loved you even when you were unknown to me.

 

Your eyes so chocolate brown.

Your skin so creamy white.

Your lips so full of shape-

the way you’d glow at night.

 

I see how you’ve grown into someone dependable and charismatic.

I want to touch you so

just to hold your hand.

I wish you’d let me know if you understand.

I am far from perfect.

No extraordinary girl.

I’m just me hidden beneath the world.

Will you call my name?

When you walk on by?

Will you see my tears as I stand and cry?

 

If love was fickle

I’d have no heart.

Yet . . .

I’ve loved you even when you were unknown to me.